MOJO # 49: What to do if you get triggered by "negative" comments

If you create in public, you are inevitably exposing yourself to all sorts of comments.

Some of them aren't too nice.

This week, someone asked me how I deal with "triggering" comments.

It struck me that I actually don't any even though I have a strong point of view about some things that people might disagree with.

In fact, I can count on one hand the number of times someone even left a "negative" comment on any channel for the last 2 years. 

And when I say "negative", I mean they were just slightly spicy half-jokes. You can tell they were probably just tired, nothing personal.

I've seen how cruel people can be to online creators, but my content seems to attract the best there is.

And it shows in their comments, even when they disagree with me.

This contrast reminded me of where I was many years ago.

I used to spend hours every week (sometimes every day) arguing on the Internet.

I used to be triggered by all the opinions I deemed "stupid". Especially when expressed in a way that I felt was arrogant or condescending.

And I used to feel the need to respond, often in the same tone, to "give them a taste of their own medicine."

I don't need to tell you what the rest of my life was like.

It was a constant fight or flight (mine was more like fight and fight)

I had no energy for creative work because I was depleted from the emotional high.

Even when I wasn't logged in, my mind had a few tabs open for the arguments of that day, where I left off, and what I will say next.

I'm literally face-palming as I speak.

What I eventually realized is that the only ways to avoid getting triggered are:

1) Avoid the Internet and society altogether, so you never risk being exposed to one of these comments.


2) Work on healing wounds one by one, until you no longer get thrown for a loop when it does happen.

In this video, we'll talk about curating a positive experience on social media as a creator, and how to heal said wounds as you go.

From this video: How to change a belief at the root of the trigger

1) When you got triggered, what happened? (how does your mind tell the story? what is the emotion?)

Allow yourself to feel the emotion but let go of the story, even if it's true to you.

2) Now ask yourself: what did I have to believe about myself, for me to get triggered by this?

3) Is this belief ultimately true?

If it's not rooted in love (not something you'd say to your inner child) it's not true.

4) Now think back to 5 experiences from your past that prove this belief to be untrue. Write them down.

5) For the next few days, repeat this process. Every morning, write 5 experiences that prove the opposite of this belief.

You will get tested again to see how you respond. That will tell you how much inner work is left to do in this area, if any.

MOJO # 48: What to do if you "hate social media but need it for business"
MOJO # 50: "The 130 Method": How I make the "unrealistic" doable.


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